Having trouble putting issues confronted by new course into words

[Caspian]

I'm studying Joe Vitale's the Missing Secret. This has not been easy to do as I thought it Might be today I found a major block. It's about how angry I've been all these years about promises being made but never kept. Or the idoitic Game My Dad was especially bad about this He used to play with my dreams putting conditions(Escape Clauses) on my getting something I wanted and if just one thing was wrong, He'd announce the escape clause and renig on his promise. "If the money's there next month If you save me such and such amount of money, Or You want ......., write me a report on what you know about ....... (Yeah right,) Dad was a liar, and He'd renig for the slightest things. once after a day when my brother had been picking on me Terribly just brfore the due date of a promise he'd made And should have had top keep He said " Do you really think you deserve anything, That nice? He was grinning at me, knowing he was giving me the verbal version of an IRON CLAW to the stomach. "Certainly not I'm not buying that not after how you showed out at..........! This was his way of double dealing My brother got I went without and did all the work. It was worse was Than frustrating never to get things save clothes for appearences sake, because the money wasn't there. He would use gifts as a way to guilt me into doing work his other brat kid could would have been doing had they not been crowned prince. Once He renigged on a deal he'd made with me over a soda A damned coke! THat I had bought with money I had been saving for nearly a month
"You stole a soda from......... store, on......... I even prodiced a recioept to prove I had paid for it in Church! In front of The peacher " you spent your money on ................." Not even the Christian god could maker him come across with a promise Made to me.
But who's responsible for the renigging my Dad enjoyed doing so much, according to the Law of attraction? ME!
I don't see how that can be true if My action was to honorably keep my end of the deal to best of my ability. I even still have writen contracts Many of them noterized That Dad shouldn't have been able to renig on Yet and still he found a loop hole and renigged on ever last one. So where In was I responsible for that? In that I kept letting him talk and guilt me into doing things for him while my brother didn't have to do anything at all.